Nailin’ Palin

Shortly after Sarah Palin had been announced as the Republican nominee for vice president, I received an email from my friend Dave in Portland. It contained a Craigslist screen capture. Someone, according to the listing, was seeking a Palin lookalike to star in a pornographic film. The job, it said, paid $2,000 to $3,000, and — showing a bit of respect toward the candidate, I imagine, it further stated — “no anal required.” I chuckled at what I thought must have been a joke, and put it out of my mind until yesterday, when I heard mention that notorious pornographer Larry Flynt was producing a film about a naughty hockey mom with political aspirations in Alaska.
I put in a call to one of my connections at Hustler and confirmed that it was true. (My personal website, for reasons I can’t quite figure out, has a few readers in Los Angeles who work for the Flynt empire.) Flynt had already cast the part, I was told, and filming had already begun. I was told that the finished product, which will be called “Nailin’ Paylin,” will be available by the end of October.

I’m not clear as to the plot details, but I’m told that one scene will involve the governor “nailing” Russians trying to sneak across the Alaskan border. Another scene, I’m told, will feature the vice presidential candidate in college, debating creationism. And then there’s apparently a scene featuring Hillary Clinton and Condi Rice. Palin will be played by a woman named Lisa Ann. Hillary will be played by a woman named Nina Hearlty, who, it’s probably worth noting, I once took a screenwriting class with in LA.

I’m not condoning this project of Flynt’s, by the way. Far from it. But I do find it interesting. I like living in a country where there are so many opportunities to influence the debate. I can’t imagine that a poorly done porno film will relay too much information that’s likely to sway votes one way or the other, but it’s worth considering. If done well, I imagine that it could speak to a certain demographic probably not reached by more traditional methods. … I mentioned here on the site several years ago my thought that it would be worthwhile to have the Democratic Party sponsor a NASCAR team. While obviously much more distasteful, I think that porno is probably just a further extension of that same idea — that we need to reach people where they live. And, if you really want to appeal to the reptilian brain of voters, how better than though sex?