In case you were wondering how former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick would attempt to explain why he was pleading poverty while simultaneously spending more than $15,000 on plastic surgery for his wife (not to mention while living in a mansion in a gated community in Texas and making a base salary of $120,000 a year), the Detroit News documents his explanation on the witness stand in his restitution hearing on Tuesday:

Kilpatrick choked up as he explained why he paid more than $15,000 for plastic surgery for his wife at the same time he owed Detroit taxpayers almost $1 million in restitution.

“I embarrassed her. I cheated on her. I lied to her,” he said in Wayne County Circuit Court. “It’s the least I could do. I caused her an incredible amount of pain.”

The elective surgery helped repair damage caused by an emergency Caesarean when Carlita Kilpatrick gave birth to the couple’s twin sons.

“I told her if I ever got some money, I’d pay for it,” he said. “I wanted her to make her feel beautiful.”

Later, when discussing $71,000 paid to rent a house in Texas, Kilpatrick said he described his wife’s devotion as a “miracle.”

“I didn’t care how much a miracle cost … it was a miracle for me to be in that house,” Kilpatrick said.

I suspect that explanation would fly a lot better on a trash TV talk show than it will in a court of law.